Putting others' interest before your own?

Subject: Putting others' interest before your own? Thu May 28, 2009 3:18 pm

I have a question that I'd like to get your input on. I've been in this situation before, but currently in particular, there is a brother in Christ who I am thinking of right now. He is a genuine guy and I see a hunger for God and a desire to grow in his life, but usually in my interactions with him it seems to be 'all about him' most of the time. What I mean by this is, I am always the one starting the conversation to see how things in his life are going, how his day was, etc, and the conversations usually stay on that unless I bring up something about my day or what I am learning. There is never any reciprocity to see how others are doing, from what I normally see in his interactions. He doesn't have a car, so I have been taking him back and forth almost constantly over the past couple weeks, which I don't really mind doing. But for example, we were riding in my car yesterday, just the two of us, and it was literally no discussion going on at all, until I started asking him how his day was and stuff. I actually held out from talking a little bit just to see if he would say something lol. Again, I love him and don't mind, but it is like that 99% of the time when I hang out with him. Looking at passages in scripture like Phil 2:3-4 where we are called to put the interest of others before ourselves, I am striving to keep a Christ-like mindset and proper application of God's Word through this. My question is, do I continue to just love on this brother and serve him as I have been doing in spite of what he may or may not be doing, or would it be good to bring this to his attention at some point? I could be way off on the thoughts I am starting to have about this situation, so I'd love to hear your feedback on this!

Administrator

Probably along the way somewhere, you go through that passage and ask his thoughts on it. If he doesn't get the hint............Somewhere along the way, you may have to let him know it is an issue and you'd like to see him do the same with you in return. Do it gently.

Subject: Re: Putting others' interest before your own? Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:20 am

This is tough. I have felt the same way in friendships: feeling like I'm always the one pouring out and the other person just sits there and receives. I believe that everyone is different. Some people are just totally oblivious to the fact that they are doing it, while others are self-involved in every aspect of their lives, including their approach to God. Some people, when they get in the car, they like it quiet so they can reflect on the day or just get lost in their thoughts. And they may not even realize that the silence is so loud to the other person seated next to them. They can also have such high respect for you that, when they see you, they wait for you to pour into them, without even realizing that you may need that from them in return. There are others that maybe were the baby or only child of the family and were use to getting all of the attention growing up. They are use to people approaching them and starting conversations and they never were forced to initiate.

You know this person better then we do and you know which category they may fall under. Whether they are doing it on purpose or by mistake, they need to be told that they are, in fact, doing it. And, if this person respects you (like I pray they do) they will receive what you have to say in love. I will keep this matter in prayer.

Subject: Re: Putting others' interest before your own? Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:40 pm

I hear that putting another's needs before your own is ESSENTIAL in marriage but its when it becomes the most difficult.
All your selfishness is put on display.. it is emphasized and highlighted by your spouse who constantly comes into contact with.

I'm trying to find out how to practice "putting others before me" when..............................

Idea

oooh forget it... got my answer

Thank you Holy Spirit! lol!