Question for you BMorr!!!

I don't know if I should've made a thread for you but too late! heheh.

Just curious... you and your Jewel married yet? Just wondering coz I haven't heard any announcements.

Reason I'm asking is Jeff and I are in some kind of predicament and I wanted to ask. Thanks!

Naw, we're not married yet. Trust and believe, when something goes down, you will know. When you look in the sky and something happens in Baltimore that you can see from Cali....you'll know!

What kinda predicament are you guys in? Can you speak on that? If in private, hit me or Jewel up on the PM.

Man, I am soooo looking forward to that day! I grew up with Jewel as like a sister, and later I'd come to know B as my brother. So, it's like a family thing for me! Can hardly wait!

Would it be too public to ask the reason you guys aren't married yet?

We've gotten that question a lot.

Wow...um...no this subject is not too personal. <blush> Sike. Well, i guess the short version is that we want God to be glorified in our relationship. We take marriage very seriously and with the attack on marriage, its not something we want to go into lightly. After talking to a lot of married couples (and with common sense) we realize that money, trust and past issues that hadn't been dealt with have been the cause of lots of problems in marriages that have ended in divorce. For Brandon and I, divorce is NOT an option. So, we have taken our time learning to trust one another, getting our finances in order, dealing with any issues in our past (if there is any) among other things. We know that we won't be perfect when we finally say, "I do". But we would hate to rush into marriage, knowing of issues not dealt with, and then having them come back and bite us in the behind.

Trust me, we want to get married. And the sooner, the better. But I want to be the perfect bride for Brandon. And if there is anything not right with me that could hinder and hurt our marriage, I just couldn't do that to Brandon. I love him too much for that. And vice versa. And once we get to the place in our lives where God grants us the gift of marriage, we will have a peace about it.

We have had lots of people ask us that question too. And sometimes we feel like, "yeah, what are we waiting for?" But we know that it is not our season yet to get married (even though I believe it is quickly approaching) and so, no matter what people say, I am at peace with where I am.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

OHHH okay. thanks jewel. Jeff and I had that same thought of really preparing for marriage, but we have gotten to the point of "yea, let's not wait anymore and get married." I mean I know we're not perfect or near perfect, but we are trusting God as we come closer and closer to getting married.

I think the reason I asked you both because I know you have been together for a while and we share that in common. I just wanted to know why you guys aren't married yet.

For us, we wanted to get married by the end of this year but according to my parents... "not yet". My parents ok'd jeff and that we're good together, but we were toldl that we need to wait for marriage until we're not sure when. The reason is that I am the youngest and I need to wait for my eldest sister to get married. I found out later on that my sister and the boyfriend told my parents that they plan to get married this year. I had so much resentment and frustration and anger towards my parents... but slowly God has been teaching me to be patient and trust in Him. It's not easy but it's all good. I guess the frustration came from us not seeing the point of waiting, it's been 7 years... we got good jobs, temptation is kicking in more and we no longer want to fall into that... etc. It's a long story. We still plan to talk to my parents to know at least our timeline and get more clarity.

Jewel wrote:

I believe that (as a female) I belong to my father. And, in order for me to be free to marry, he must release me and give my groom permission to have me. If we look at this from a biblical standpoint, God the father gave the church to Christ as a bride. And if we are looking at marriage on earth as an earthly example of what takes place between Christ and His church, we can get an accurate description of the roles our parents play in making us ready for our groom...especially if our parents are saved.

So, I say all that to say that it is important to to rest in the plans God has for you and marriage. Its hard (as I know, firsthand). But even if you don't get the answers you want from your parents, know that God does all things well. And, if your man is as good to you as Brandon is to me, he will wait for you.

Voddie Baucham would be so proud of you

Not even Jewel knows this - and I wish Jeff was on here to be a part of this conversation - but this blog really helped me mentally. When it came down to the decision of staying and hanging in there or bouncing and going somewhere else where it'd be mad easier and the father would happily skip his daughter down the aisle to any guy that could count to 5. But I knew this girl was made for me. She had to be. But yeah, here's the blog that helped me NOT dip when I really thought I was going to.

http://theprodigaljon.blogspot.com/2007/12/you-cant-marry-my-daughter.html

B. Morr wrote:

Not even Jewel knows this - and I wish Jeff was on here to be a part of this conversation - but this blog really helped me mentally. When it came down to the decision of staying and hanging in there or bouncing and going somewhere else where it'd be mad easier and the father would happily skip his daughter down the aisle to any guy that could count to 5. But I knew this girl was made for me. She had to be. But yeah, here's the blog that helped me NOT dip when I really thought I was going to.

http://theprodigaljon.blogspot.com/2007/12/you-cant-marry-my-daughter.html

Thank you for sticking around.

Jewel wrote:

And I understand their view point, but, I'm extremely old-school. I believe that (as a female) I belong to my father. And, in order for me to be free to marry, he must release me and give my groom permission to have me. If we look at this from a biblical standpoint, God the father gave the church to Christ as a bride. And if we are looking at marriage on earth as an earthly example of what takes place between Christ and His church, we can get an accurate description of the roles our parents play in making us ready for our groom...especially if our parents are saved.

So, I say all that to say that it is important to to rest in the plans God has for you and marriage. Its hard (as I know, firsthand). But even if you don't get the answers you want from your parents, know that God does all things well. And, if your man is as good to you as Brandon is to me, he will wait for you.

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you about belonging to my father. That is what we're doing. Because honestly, if we didn't value and respect him, we can just tell them we're getting married instead of asking. My 2 other sisters told them they're getting married instead of asking if they can.

My parents aren't paying for our wedding, even if they would want to, they have no money to do that. Jeff is paying for our wedding and honestly, I don't want an extravagant wedding. As for readiness, they mentioned something about it and I don't have time right now to elaborate.

I have shared this situation with the women on HCR and they have given lots of good inputs. I guess the question is... if Jeff and I are ready for marriage and this is based on what the Scripture says and my parents reason for not letting us marry is to wait until my sister gets married... do we follow the cultural view or the biblical view? We have been told to speak to my parents and show them where there may be in error of delaying our marriage because of cultural reasons. As for now, we are waiting, trusting God.

I'll get back to y'all on this. Thanks Bmorr for that. I told Jeff about this thread, he's just been busy. Thanks again.

CLER wrote:

I don't want an extravagant wedding.

Jeff is a blessed man

CLER wrote:

I have shared this situation with the women on another message board and they have given lots of good inputs. I guess the question is... if Jeff and I are ready for marriage and this is based on what the Scripture says and my parents reason for not letting us marry is to wait until my sister gets married... do we follow the cultural view or the biblical view? We have been told to speak to my parents and show them where there may be in error of delaying our marriage because of cultural reasons. As for now, we are waiting, trusting God.

I'll get back to y'all on this. Thanks Bmorr for that. I told Jeff about this thread, he's just been busy. Thanks again.

"Common props for mom and pops is honor and obedience." - Evangel - The L.A.W. - Expository Journey
I would say continue to trust the Lord in this matter. Yes, you can show them in the bible where they may be in error. And if they are believers, they should heed it. But even if they don't, you gotta know that the Lord has the final say. You know how in the stuff that the Pastor says at the wedding he says "what God has joined together let no man put asunder." Well, I believe that no man will even hinder God's joining it together. Not ultimately. God has the final say in everything and no one can stop Him from getting His way. Not even the frivolous hearts of men. But that's just what I believe. MANY believe differently. Rest in that and the journey may be a little smoother.

B. Morr wrote:

CLER wrote:

I have shared this situation with the women on another message board and they have given lots of good inputs. I guess the question is... if Jeff and I are ready for marriage and this is based on what the Scripture says and my parents reason for not letting us marry is to wait until my sister gets married... do we follow the cultural view or the biblical view? We have been told to speak to my parents and show them where there may be in error of delaying our marriage because of cultural reasons. As for now, we are waiting, trusting God.

I'll get back to y'all on this. Thanks Bmorr for that. I told Jeff about this thread, he's just been busy. Thanks again.

"Common props for mom and pops is honor and obedience." - Evangel - The L.A.W. - Expository Journey
I would say continue to trust the Lord in this matter. Yes, you can show them in the bible where they may be in error. And if they are believers, they should heed it. But even if they don't, you gotta know that the Lord has the final say. You know how in the stuff that the Pastor says at the wedding he says "what God has joined together let no man put asunder." Well, I believe that no man will even hinder God's joining it together. Not ultimately. God has the final say in everything and no one can stop Him from getting His way. Not even the frivolous hearts of men. But that's just what I believe. MANY believe differently. Rest in that and the journey may be a little smoother.

Thanks fam. That is where I'm resting.

This is the dopest thread ever!!!!

Thank you Cler for asking the question and thanks Jewel and BMorr for your transparency!

What a blessing!

Jewel- you said something that hit me right in the kidney. You said getting married is not just about being in love but also preparing for it.

I praise God for you guys preparation. Ravi Zacharias said something like this in a sermon I heard this past sunday: delaying so that its a legitimate pleasure

I'm trusting God for something like this. I know whoever the Lord has for me has to have integrity for DNA! lol

I want preparation.... oh how sweet to wait!

Good thread.

oh hey guys!

jeffr0cks wrote:

oh hey guys!

No, no NOOOOO!!!! No snacking for you, Jeff. You gotta give some input. I don't wanna have to put you on the spot.

Tell us how you feel about the situation.....or, your side, rather. And did you peep that blog I posted? I know we're all busy but TRUST ME, its a good read. If you're going through ANYTHING remotely similar to what I'm going through, you'll benefit from it.