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 Question for you BMorr!!!

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CLER

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PostSubject: Question for you BMorr!!!   Thu May 07, 2009 4:51 pm

I don't know if I should've made a thread for you but too late! heheh.

Just curious... you and your Jewel married yet? Just wondering coz I haven't heard any announcements.

Reason I'm asking is Jeff and I are in some kind of predicament and I wanted to ask. Thanks!
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B. Morr
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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Thu May 07, 2009 6:58 pm

Naw, we're not married yet. Trust and believe, when something goes down, you will know. When you look in the sky and something happens in Baltimore that you can see from Cali....you'll know!

What kinda predicament are you guys in? Can you speak on that? If in private, hit me or Jewel up on the PM.

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Michael
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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Fri May 08, 2009 1:08 pm

Man, I am soooo looking forward to that day! I grew up with Jewel as like a sister, and later I'd come to know B as my brother. So, it's like a family thing for me! Can hardly wait!

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It's true that doctrine divides. It's also true that love unifies. The unity we have in the faith is rooted and grounded in truth and love. Remove truth (right theology and doctrine) from the mix and you have less than Biblical unity. Remove love and you have no unity. Love causes us to seek truth and share that truth with others so that we become more unified. God is truth, and as we are more acquainted with His truth, the closer we are to Him, and the closer we become to each other
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CLER

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Fri May 08, 2009 4:08 pm

Would it be too public to ask the reason you guys aren't married yet?

We've gotten that question a lot.
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Jewel

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Fri May 08, 2009 4:35 pm

Wow...um...no this subject is not too personal. <blush> Sike. Well, i guess the short version is that we want God to be glorified in our relationship. We take marriage very seriously and with the attack on marriage, its not something we want to go into lightly. After talking to a lot of married couples (and with common sense) we realize that money, trust and past issues that hadn't been dealt with have been the cause of lots of problems in marriages that have ended in divorce. For Brandon and I, divorce is NOT an option. So, we have taken our time learning to trust one another, getting our finances in order, dealing with any issues in our past (if there is any) among other things. We know that we won't be perfect when we finally say, "I do". But we would hate to rush into marriage, knowing of issues not dealt with, and then having them come back and bite us in the behind.

Trust me, we want to get married. And the sooner, the better. Smile But I want to be the perfect bride for Brandon. And if there is anything not right with me that could hinder and hurt our marriage, I just couldn't do that to Brandon. I love him too much for that. And vice versa. And once we get to the place in our lives where God grants us the gift of marriage, we will have a peace about it.

We have had lots of people ask us that question too. And sometimes we feel like, "yeah, what are we waiting for?" But we know that it is not our season yet to get married (even though I believe it is quickly approaching) and so, no matter what people say, I am at peace with where I am.

Let me know if you have any more questions.
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CLER

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Fri May 08, 2009 6:04 pm

OHHH okay. thanks jewel. Jeff and I had that same thought of really preparing for marriage, but we have gotten to the point of "yea, let's not wait anymore and get married." I mean I know we're not perfect or near perfect, but we are trusting God as we come closer and closer to getting married.

I think the reason I asked you both because I know you have been together for a while and we share that in common. I just wanted to know why you guys aren't married yet.

For us, we wanted to get married by the end of this year but according to my parents... "not yet". My parents ok'd jeff and that we're good together, but we were toldl that we need to wait for marriage until we're not sure when. The reason is that I am the youngest and I need to wait for my eldest sister to get married. I found out later on that my sister and the boyfriend told my parents that they plan to get married this year. I had so much resentment and frustration and anger towards my parents... but slowly God has been teaching me to be patient and trust in Him. It's not easy but it's all good. I guess the frustration came from us not seeing the point of waiting, it's been 7 years... we got good jobs, temptation is kicking in more and we no longer want to fall into that... etc. It's a long story. We still plan to talk to my parents to know at least our timeline and get more clarity.
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Jewel

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 12:37 pm

Yeah...that is tough...especially if the only reason they have is because they want your sister married first. But I think you're doing the right thing by cooling off first (very important) and then sitting down with your parents and really trying to understand their decision. Maybe its a financial thing. I know my father desires to spoil me rotten when I get married. But, with the economy the way it is, I believe Brandon and I will be paying for our wedding (which is fine). Or maybe your mom wants to spoil and pamper both of her daughters as you guys prepare for this special time in your life. And she doesn't want anyone being overshadowed by the other. If either one is the case, then I believe a really good discussion will result in a mutual agreement for the best time for you to get married.

I too have experienced the whole "not yet" comment from my parents. However, it didn't have anything to do with "your sister needs to get married first" or anything. It was moreso of a "readiness" my parents wanted to see in me first. All of the foundation was there, but there are some things that a man and woman MUST be strong in before they get married. And my parents want to see that in both Brandon and I. My parents have done both marriage and pre-marital counseling and have just seen way too much. They love Brandon and I so much and do not want to see us fall into pitfalls and traps that others have, if we can easily avoid it by growing a little more and preparing ourselves before marriage. So, we sigh, grit our teeth and bear it, knowing that marriage isn't just a thing two people who are in love do. Its much more then that. And again, people say, "You don't have to be perfect to get married because there will always be problems. And if you wait until all of your problems are fixed, you'll never get married. Besides, marriage is between a husband and a wife. If you're parents don't agree, you're old enough to make decisions for yourself." (I've heard it all) And I understand their view point, but, I'm extremely old-school. I believe that (as a female) I belong to my father. And, in order for me to be free to marry, he must release me and give my groom permission to have me. If we look at this from a biblical standpoint, God the father gave the church to Christ as a bride. And if we are looking at marriage on earth as an earthly example of what takes place between Christ and His church, we can get an accurate description of the roles our parents play in making us ready for our groom...especially if our parents are saved.

So, I say all that to say that it is important to to rest in the plans God has for you and marriage. Its hard (as I know, firsthand). But even if you don't get the answers you want from your parents, know that God does all things well. And, if your man is as good to you as Brandon is to me, he will wait for you. Wink
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simply seth

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 1:13 pm

Jewel wrote:
I believe that (as a female) I belong to my father. And, in order for me to be free to marry, he must release me and give my groom permission to have me. If we look at this from a biblical standpoint, God the father gave the church to Christ as a bride. And if we are looking at marriage on earth as an earthly example of what takes place between Christ and His church, we can get an accurate description of the roles our parents play in making us ready for our groom...especially if our parents are saved.

So, I say all that to say that it is important to to rest in the plans God has for you and marriage. Its hard (as I know, firsthand). But even if you don't get the answers you want from your parents, know that God does all things well. And, if your man is as good to you as Brandon is to me, he will wait for you. Wink

Sad
Voddie Baucham would be so proud of you
Sad
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B. Morr
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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 1:39 pm

Not even Jewel knows this - and I wish Jeff was on here to be a part of this conversation - but this blog really helped me mentally. When it came down to the decision of staying and hanging in there or bouncing and going somewhere else where it'd be mad easier and the father would happily skip his daughter down the aisle to any guy that could count to 5. But I knew this girl was made for me. She had to be. But yeah, here's the blog that helped me NOT dip when I really thought I was going to.

http://theprodigaljon.blogspot.com/2007/12/you-cant-marry-my-daughter.html

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Jewel

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 2:02 pm

B. Morr wrote:
Not even Jewel knows this - and I wish Jeff was on here to be a part of this conversation - but this blog really helped me mentally. When it came down to the decision of staying and hanging in there or bouncing and going somewhere else where it'd be mad easier and the father would happily skip his daughter down the aisle to any guy that could count to 5. But I knew this girl was made for me. She had to be. But yeah, here's the blog that helped me NOT dip when I really thought I was going to.

http://theprodigaljon.blogspot.com/2007/12/you-cant-marry-my-daughter.html

Thank you for sticking around. Sad
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CLER

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Thu May 14, 2009 7:49 pm

Jewel wrote:
And I understand their view point, but, I'm extremely old-school. I believe that (as a female) I belong to my father. And, in order for me to be free to marry, he must release me and give my groom permission to have me. If we look at this from a biblical standpoint, God the father gave the church to Christ as a bride. And if we are looking at marriage on earth as an earthly example of what takes place between Christ and His church, we can get an accurate description of the roles our parents play in making us ready for our groom...especially if our parents are saved.

So, I say all that to say that it is important to to rest in the plans God has for you and marriage. Its hard (as I know, firsthand). But even if you don't get the answers you want from your parents, know that God does all things well. And, if your man is as good to you as Brandon is to me, he will wait for you. Wink

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you about belonging to my father. That is what we're doing. Because honestly, if we didn't value and respect him, we can just tell them we're getting married instead of asking. My 2 other sisters told them they're getting married instead of asking if they can.

My parents aren't paying for our wedding, even if they would want to, they have no money to do that. Jeff is paying for our wedding and honestly, I don't want an extravagant wedding. As for readiness, they mentioned something about it and I don't have time right now to elaborate.

I have shared this situation with the women on HCR and they have given lots of good inputs. I guess the question is... if Jeff and I are ready for marriage and this is based on what the Scripture says and my parents reason for not letting us marry is to wait until my sister gets married... do we follow the cultural view or the biblical view? We have been told to speak to my parents and show them where there may be in error of delaying our marriage because of cultural reasons. As for now, we are waiting, trusting God.

I'll get back to y'all on this. Thanks Bmorr for that. I told Jeff about this thread, he's just been busy. Thanks again.
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simply seth

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Fri May 15, 2009 1:55 am

CLER wrote:
I don't want an extravagant wedding.

Jeff is a blessed man Cool
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B. Morr
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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Fri May 15, 2009 12:36 pm

CLER wrote:
I have shared this situation with the women on another message board and they have given lots of good inputs. I guess the question is... if Jeff and I are ready for marriage and this is based on what the Scripture says and my parents reason for not letting us marry is to wait until my sister gets married... do we follow the cultural view or the biblical view? We have been told to speak to my parents and show them where there may be in error of delaying our marriage because of cultural reasons. As for now, we are waiting, trusting God.

I'll get back to y'all on this. Thanks Bmorr for that. I told Jeff about this thread, he's just been busy. Thanks again.
"Common props for mom and pops is honor and obedience." - Evangel - The L.A.W. - Expository Journey
I would say continue to trust the Lord in this matter. Yes, you can show them in the bible where they may be in error. And if they are believers, they should heed it. But even if they don't, you gotta know that the Lord has the final say. You know how in the stuff that the Pastor says at the wedding he says "what God has joined together let no man put asunder." Well, I believe that no man will even hinder God's joining it together. Not ultimately. God has the final say in everything and no one can stop Him from getting His way. Not even the frivolous hearts of men. But that's just what I believe. MANY believe differently. Rest in that and the journey may be a little smoother.

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CLER

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Fri May 15, 2009 1:32 pm

B. Morr wrote:
CLER wrote:
I have shared this situation with the women on another message board and they have given lots of good inputs. I guess the question is... if Jeff and I are ready for marriage and this is based on what the Scripture says and my parents reason for not letting us marry is to wait until my sister gets married... do we follow the cultural view or the biblical view? We have been told to speak to my parents and show them where there may be in error of delaying our marriage because of cultural reasons. As for now, we are waiting, trusting God.

I'll get back to y'all on this. Thanks Bmorr for that. I told Jeff about this thread, he's just been busy. Thanks again.
"Common props for mom and pops is honor and obedience." - Evangel - The L.A.W. - Expository Journey
I would say continue to trust the Lord in this matter. Yes, you can show them in the bible where they may be in error. And if they are believers, they should heed it. But even if they don't, you gotta know that the Lord has the final say. You know how in the stuff that the Pastor says at the wedding he says "what God has joined together let no man put asunder." Well, I believe that no man will even hinder God's joining it together. Not ultimately. God has the final say in everything and no one can stop Him from getting His way. Not even the frivolous hearts of men. But that's just what I believe. MANY believe differently. Rest in that and the journey may be a little smoother.

Thanks fam. That is where I'm resting.
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elboogee

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Tue May 19, 2009 7:11 pm

bom This is the dopest thread ever!!!!

Thank you Cler for asking the question and thanks Jewel and BMorr for your transparency!

What a blessing!

Jewel- you said something that hit me right in the kidney. You said getting married is not just about being in love but also preparing for it.

I praise God for you guys preparation. Ravi Zacharias said something like this in a sermon I heard this past sunday: delaying so that its a legitimate pleasure

I'm trusting God for something like this. I know whoever the Lord has for me has to have integrity for DNA! lol

I want preparation.... oh how sweet to wait! cheers
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G.R.A.C.E. Preecha
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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Tue May 19, 2009 8:24 pm

Good thread. Smile
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jeffr0cks

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Wed May 20, 2009 1:34 am

oh hey guys!
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B. Morr
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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Wed May 20, 2009 10:32 am

jeffr0cks wrote:
oh hey guys!
No, no NOOOOO!!!! No snacking for you, Jeff. You gotta give some input. I don't wanna have to put you on the spot.

Tell us how you feel about the situation.....or, your side, rather. And did you peep that blog I posted? I know we're all busy but TRUST ME, its a good read. If you're going through ANYTHING remotely similar to what I'm going through, you'll benefit from it.

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Jewel

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PostSubject: Re: Question for you BMorr!!!   Wed May 20, 2009 2:14 pm

elboogee wrote:
bom This is the dopest thread ever!!!!

Thank you Cler for asking the question and thanks Jewel and BMorr for your transparency!

What a blessing!

Jewel- you said something that hit me right in the kidney. You said getting married is not just about being in love but also preparing for it.

I praise God for you guys preparation. Ravi Zacharias said something like this in a sermon I heard this past sunday: delaying so that its a legitimate pleasure

I'm trusting God for something like this. I know whoever the Lord has for me has to have integrity for DNA! lol

I want preparation.... oh how sweet to wait! cheers

Yes....It is so important to be prepared. I refuse to be a statistic in my marriage simply because I was sooo in a rush to actually get married, that I failed to prepare myself. Right now, the Holy Spirit is preparing us to be Christ's bride. And if marriage here on earth is a reflection of Christ and His bride, why are we in such a rush? I must admit, I find myself screaming, "COME LORD JESUS!!!" I'm so ready for His return. But am I???? scratch Nope.
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